The Voice From The Back Row

 

More frequently than I would like, people I know tell me that I should get with the times, that I am resisting progress.  Sometimes that feels like a message that I am resisting the Divine, which has brought this progress about.  I admit that I am deficient in computer skills, have no desire to spend the greatest amount of my time in Cyberspace, and am not particularly observant about political correctness.  However, it isn’t simply resistance to change, though some element of that exists.  Learning is good, and adapting is a necessary skill.  It is that what is commonly perceived or accepted as progress is built on several assumptions which do not seem to be well-founded, and which in some instances are even counterproductive.

One of these is the assumption that in order to be equal, we all need to be same.  Distinctions that differentiate us one from another must be broken down so that we all may be equal.  Thus, the assumption goes, we will have a just, friendly and better world.    However, the fact is that creation is accomplished by distinguishing one thing from another.  Without such distinctions, creation dissolves into an indistinct energy mass reminiscent of the Dominion of Deep Space Nine renown.  There is no movement of energy, no effort to expend, nothing more to discover, just a conglomerate of (hopefully) touchy-feely mass.  We can see some of this effect in our film making industry – many remakes, many new films that rely on violence or outrageous acts to interest people, and a diminishing of true creativity.  We are NOT same.  Take women, for example (forget the unisex sameness being promoted for women and men).  We have women who are born as women in female bodies and who like it that way.   We have women born as women who are attracted sexually to other women, or who prefer to act as men.  We have women born as women whose inner self is that of men, and who do not wish to be in the bodies of women, and we have men born as men whose inner self is that of women, and who definitely would like to have the bodies of women.    These are not all same.  There are distinct differences.  The key to equality is not sameness, it is valuing.  Whatever the differences, each individual is a valuable part of the One that makes us all, and in which we are all united (but not same).  Therefore, each individual needs to be accepted for what he/she/it is in this given moment; each individual needs to be included in a common respect for each other, and the needs of each individual need to be fully recognized and provided for out of the abundance that exists, without resorting to common panaceas which give everyone the same remedy.  Everyone has needs and something to give.  This is what needs recognition, not political correctness.  Yes, we need to learn to not discriminate against those who are not like us  (another manifestation of the assumption that everything needs to be same). and we need to not only learn to share from our abundance, but to be open to that abundance in the first place.  All of us, not only some of us, have the right to exist and to have the needs of our conditions met or to make our contributions to the whole.   However, laws that reinforce the sameness of all do not teach those concepts.   Instead, they make us increasingly less.

Another assumption is that there is no more personal responsibility.  In order to be free, we should be allowed to do pretty much what we want without taking personal responsibility for our actions.  Somebody else, the government perhaps, should be taking responsibility for us and making sure that there are not consequences for our doing what we wish.  That there ARE consequences, some more obvious than others, is simply disregarded.   If we break the law (traffic violations to murder), we feel violated if we are caught.  The cops are bad, the justice system (which does need improvement) is to blame, we had a bad childhood.  We can abort that baby, the medical system should cure us of diseases caused by our actions and lifestyles, we can sue almost anyone for our misfortunes – the list is endless, from small actions to large ones.  The truth is that responsibility exists, that there are results to our choices, thoughts and actions.  These choices, thoughts and actions can affect others;  no one else is responsible for what we think, choose and do,  and we can always do the work of changing what we think, choose and do, if we are willing to make that effort.  The current system of belief that someone else must take care of us and be responsible for what we think, choose and do actually interferes with our power to choose, and weakens us and our society.  I am not arguing about agreements or lawful order, or about the help we give to others, but against the thought that if we act inappropriately or run into difficulties, then someone else must be responsible.

A third assumption is that technology is God (if not by name, then in estimation) and will save us.  The truth is that technology is a powerful tool that must be used with caution and in full consciousness of possible and probable results.  Early people sometimes thought that fire (especially the sun) was God or of the gods, and they worshipped fire or the sun, often treating it as a sacrament.  The truth about fire is that it, too, is a powerful tool that must be used with caution and awareness.  Just as fire draws to itself and consumes the oxygen around it, using that oxygen to spread, so the technology of today seems to be doing to our energy and awareness.  People’s time and attention tends to be focused in Cyberspace, as more and more of our thought and endeavor are done via increasingly complex technology.  The more we are  drawn into Cyberspace, the more we seem to be required to run faster, to generate more physical and mental energy to feed an intertwined and nonhuman system.  The deeper we progress into Cyberspace, the more we abandon our Earth, and the physical life around us.  We  pollute, we tear apart, we neglect, we attempt to conquer, we rape our Earth, we do not care.  We take less and less pleasure in visiting the remaining pristine natural spaces, opting instead for the newest on-line game, virtual reality or on-line social connections, which connect us but which limit our ability to touch each other.   Why, indeed, do we need an Earth and bodies, when we have this marvelous virtual world of Cyberspace, a world which becomes more complex and more fascinating each day?   There is an old folk tale of the Pied Piper, who, when the villagers would not pay his fee for exterminating the rats in the town,  entranced the children with his pipe music into a mountain, from which they did not return.  The analogy is not exact, but it is compelling.

Yet another assumption, the fourth, is that progress is linear, that in order to go forward, one must abandon or destroy that which went before.  The truth is that progress, like life, is circular.  It moves as a spiral, circling back to what went before as it continues forward.  To think that the traditions, discoveries, thoughts, literature, relationships and patterns of human history must be destroyed before progress can be made is a false assumption.  True, destructive behaviors of the past must be modified so that they do not consume the society in which they exist, as does a cancer.  However, the expectation of destroying them is as about as useful as chemotherapy is to cancer.  They are destroyed for a moment, and then return, because the remedy does not address the source of the malfunction.   The truth is that what has come before now must be included in the restructuring of our fleeting present and our future.  The baby must not be thrown out with the bath water.  For example, although the concept of a recognized and appreciated, committed, and hopefully loving union , present in marriage must be expanded to include people who are not same as heterosexual couples, the concept of marriage as a safe space for the procreation of and rearing of children must not be destroyed.  That redefinition  (destruction) of marriage by negating what marriage has been, perfectly or imperfectly, changes it into that which it is not.  We are capable of solving this issue without recrimination or aggression, and including everyone’s needs.   But it is not solvable by legislation which tosses the baby out with the bath water.   The understanding of what has been must be incorporated into the concepts of what is/will be.

A related assumption is the prevalence of a form of doublespeak.  It seems that many words do not mean what they ostensibly mean, that they mean whatever one wants them to mean at the moment.  The malleability of our vocabulary results essentially in words that are meaningless, as they can mean any thing at any time.   This is observable from official jargon, such as legalese or bureaucratese (which can be debated even among its proficient speakers) to current slang (hot does not mean hot, cool does not mean cool, fly has nothing to do with flying, and the like) to the latest proliferation of alternative facts.   At the same time, the avalanche of advertisement geared at motivating people to buy things or donate to things or get on  political bandwagons  makes it difficult for the average person to figure out what is going on and exactly where truth lies.  That is not to say that some things are not worth buying or some things not worth donating to or some causes not worth supporting – just that there is something askew with our communications.

These are some of the assumptions which, until they are well thought through and balanced, will continue to cause instability within what we call progress.  My hope is that we will address these before they topple the tower of our progress, casting us into unknown states of existence.  To those who say I must get with the times better, I agree with you.   And, I also challenge you to get with the times, to look at them closely and observe them critically – as once, and I hope also now, we were taught to do in school.  Smoothing the surface does not work, as all is rarely what it appears to be on the surface.   May we all take time to think.

Peace,  Diane

 

I once regularly practiced martial arts.   My particular form was Hwardo.  It was one of the most rewarding pursuits in which I have engaged.   I have not practiced it for over a year now; my teacher retired and his school closed.  Sometimes, I still feel as though I were actively doing it, even though I no longer physically practice.  It is hard to let something like that go.

Despite the connotations of martial arts promulgated by the entertainment media, and contrary to what all the strikes and blocks, kicks and throws, leaps and take-downs would seem to indicate, martial arts are not at their core all about fighting.  They are all about loving, and the continued pursuit to perfect oneself, to grow.  Yes, martial arts are a means of self defense, as well as a competitive sport.  Self defense is not warlike; to protect oneself is to love oneself, and is a base for all the possibilities for loving contribution one might make.  But martial arts are not aggressive.   One of the basic tenets is to not start fights, no matter the provocation.  Martial arts is peaceful.

Just as in martial arts there are forms of physical practice designed to progressively increase the competence of the practitioner, so there are forms of love, disciplines to grow the capacity of the individual engaging in them.  One of the most basic is respect.  When one respects another, one does not judge or take offense.  On perhaps an unconscious level, one who respects realizes that there is a deep and strong connection between oneself and the other.  To disrespect the other, to judge or denigrate the other is to disrespect oneself, by reason of that energetic connection.  Respect, then, is a tenet of martial arts, and also a form of love.

For me, one of the most difficult forms of martial arts and of love is patience.  I am one who often senses the future more strongly than the present.   Yet, the future is built on the moments of the present.  To wait patiently, focusing on the present moment, is essential to successful sparring.  One cannot project and guess what one’s sparring partner might do, but has not yet done.   One cannot respond to an illusion.  Patience teaches one to wait alertly until an action is taken, and then to respond to that action in the way that is the best in that moment.  So it is in life, and so in loving. One patiently waits upon the other, and responds to the need presented in the moment.  Or, one patiently waits for one’s desired results, responding to what is presented in the moment.  The future is an illusion, even though at some time the illusion may become the actuality of the present.  Fretting about an illusion, though common, is useless.  Patient focus on the present facilitates manifestation of goals.

Gratitude is another form of immense importance in martial arts, life and loving.  One is grateful to one’s teacher, fellow students, helpers and all those who in one way or another contribute to the practitioner’s success.   Upon reflection, one finds that there are many occasions to practice gratitude.  The form needs much practice, and proficiency comes and goes.   Yet, in moments when gratitude is achieved, a profound sense of peace ensues.

I am grateful for these lessons which have been given to me, even though I cannot yet practice them even nearly perfectly.  Those lessons in martial arts, and in life and loving, will remain in me.  For this, I give thanks.

Let us each recognize with gratitude, respect, and patience the teachers who have come to us and the lessons we have been given.  Let us try to apply those lessons in our lives, and thus contribute to the creation of a kinder world.

Peace,  Diane

 

 

I once regularly practiced martial arts.   My particular form was Hwardo.  It was one of the most rewarding pursuits in which I have engaged.   I have not practiced it for over a year now; my teacher retired and his school closed.  Sometimes, I still feel as though I were actively doing it, even though I no longer physically practice.  It is hard to let something like that go.

 

 

Despite the connotations of martial arts promulgated by the entertainment media, and contrary to what all the strikes and blocks, kicks and throws, leaps and take-downs would seem to indicate, martial arts are not at their core all about fighting. They are all about loving, and the continued pursuit to perfect oneself, to grow.  Yes, martial arts are a means of self defense, as well as a competitive sport.  Self defense is not warlike; to protect oneself is to love oneself, and is a base for all the possibilities for loving contribution one might make.  But martial arts is not aggressive.   One of its basic tenets is to not start fights, no matter the provocation.  Martial arts is peaceful.

 

Just as in martial arts there are forms of physical practice designed to progressively increase the competence of the practitioner, so there are forms of love, disciplines to grow the capacity of the individual engaging in them.  One of the most basic is respect.  When one respects another, one does not judge or take offense.  On perhaps an unconscious level, one who respects realizes that there is a deep and strong connection between oneself and the other.  To disrespect the other, to judge or denigrate the other is to disrespect oneself, by reason of that energetic connection.  Respect, then, is a tenet of martial arts, and also a form of love.

 

For me, one of the most difficult forms of martial arts and of love is patience.  I am one who often senses the future more strongly than the present.   Yet, the future is built on the moments of the present.  To wait patiently, focusing on the present moment, is essential to successful sparring.  One cannot project and guess what one’s sparring partner might do, but has not yet done.   One cannot respond to an illusion. Patience teaches one to wait alertly until an action is taken, and then to respond to that action in the way that is the best in that moment.  So it is in life, and so in loving.  One patiently waits upon the other, and responds to the need presented in the moment.  Or, one patiently waits for one’s desired results, responding to what is presented in the moment.  The future is an illusion, even though at some time the illusion may become the actuality of the present.  Fretting about an illusion, though common, is useless.  Patient focus on the present facilitates manifestation of goals.

 

Gratitude is another form of immense importance in martial arts and loving.  One is grateful to one’s teacher, fellow students, helpers and all those who in one way or another contribute to the practitioner’s success.   Upon reflection, one finds that there are many occasions to practice gratitude.  The form needs much practice, and proficiency comes and goes.  Yet, in moments when gratitude is achieved, a profound sense of peace ensues.

 

I am grateful for these lessons which have been given to me, even though I cannot yet practice them even nearly perfectly. Those lessons in martial arts, and in life and loving, will remain in me.  For this, I give thanks.

 

Let us each recognize with gratitude, respect, and patience the teachers who have come to us and the lessons we have been given.  Let us try to apply those lessons in our lives, and thus contribute to the creation of a kinder world.

 

Peace,  Diane

 

 

For weeks, the stores have been full of hearts, candy, flowers, jewelry, perfumes and pretty much anything that can be connected to telling someone they are loved. (There is no mention, however, of simply telling them, as often as possible, that they are loved.)  Today, schoolchildren will be exchanging “penny valentines” that no longer cost a penny, and having class parties with pink drinks and cookies in heart shapes.  Tonight, some couples, at least, will go on special outings.  And, some people who are not a couple will feel left out.  It is the commercial celebration of St. Valentine’s Day,  a celebration which St. Valentine would most likely not recognize.

Is it wrong, then, to celebrate love?   Certainly not, though the commercialization of it may be held in question.   Love is the underpinning of all that exists, and it is also perhaps the most misunderstood concept defined by a single word in our language.  The great Persian poet Rumi equated love with God.   His poems are filled with references to the beloved; while on the surface they may be confused for romantic poetry, careful reading reveals that for Rumi, the beloved was God.   In Christian literature, both Old and New Testaments, love as God and love as the behavior of the God-loving is a recurring theme.    Certainly, the entirety of God is a concept beyond human capacity to fully understand.  Since I cannot fully understand God, it is reasonable to assume that neither can I fully grasp the totality of love.

And yet, people over the ages have not ceased to pursue this understanding.   The topic is endlessly fascinating, and is pursued on different levels, among which may be falling in love, sexuality as love, getting and having love, being love, a warm fuzzy feeling, altruism – the list seems endless, and so does the confusion.

On one level, if God is Love and God is All and Everywhere, then there is nothing that cannot be called non-love.   That said, people do recognize some things as non-loving.   Violence and what are classified as sins are among those things.   Attachment is another, expecting the object of affection to fill one’s individual needs or emptiness.    Scholars classify as non-loving those thoughts and actions that tend to separate one from God, as one sees God.

One of the best definitions of love I have found (and I am paraphrasing here) comes from the book The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck.   There, love is defined as “the extending of one’s boundaries for one’s own growth or the growth of another.”  Mr. Peck classifies “falling in love” as non-love, because, as he posits, falling in love is not the extending of one’s boundaries; it is the breaking of them.   The topic of boundaries in loving relationships is an extensive one, subject to much discussion.

In my opinion, romantic love falls into the category of attachment, depending on another to fill one’s needs, often one’s unrealized needs.  However, romantic love, celebrated now on Valentine’s Day, is certainly capable of developing into a lasting bond, given the willingness of couples to engage in deeper understanding and participate in the changes of growth.   Similarly, sexual love is often classified as non-love, a simple physical coupling.  And yet, such coupling can certainly be surrounded by a nourishing aura of love, encompassing both partners and including in that love any life that may thereby be created.  Then, how can it be classified as non-love, even though many examples can be given of when it is engaged in without love?   Comprehended as simply life calling to itself to grow and preserve itself, it is difficult to brand as non-loving.

From another perspective, it can be said that love is simply genuinely wishing well-being for oneself and others.   That would imply a suspension of judgment, of classifying as good or bad.  Whoever the other, friend or foe, in love they are wished well.  If that is focus on loving the other, what of focus on non-judgment of self, and wishing oneself well?   That can be a trickier bag, yet we are told by psychologists and spiritual teachers that we cannot fully love others until we love ourselves.

Gandhi, the Indian spiritual leader whose teachings inspired Martin Luther King, Jr, is credited with the saying, “Be the change you wish to see.”  (Again, paraphrased)  If what we wish to see is a peaceful world motivated by love,  then it would follow that what we need to do is strive without ceasing to understand love and follow in those ways.  Perhaps that is the next step in the growth of humanity.

Let us, then, pray for peace and ponder love.                           Diane

 

 

 

I remember clearly that day in September of 2001.   I was teaching my preschool class as usual, when a parent walked in early to pick  up her child.   “They’re bombing the Pentagon,” she announced, eyes wide with alarm.  My first reaction was unbelief.  How could that possibly be happening?   It wasn’t long, though, before the center director. who had been listening to the radio, confirmed the news that the Pentagon had been attacked.

That day changed everything.  The visceral change was immediate; it was felt as if fear and anxiety were “blowing in the wind”.  People were afraid and angry.  The illusion of invulnerability had been stripped away.  Americans were now obviously as vulnerable as anyone else to such disasters.  The reactions followed not long after.  Not only did we enter a war, but in the name of resisting the feared terrorism,  our personal privacies, heretofore rigorously protected,  began to be invaded by elected and appointed authority.  And, a pervasive and irrational suspicion of anyone who was Muslim began to grow.   The one act of terrorism had had an effect.  America was on a downward spiral fueled by fear.

No, everyone did not participate in the fear-driven stampede.  Many of us resented and resisted the loss of privacy, many of us realized that most Muslims are peaceful and cooperative people, and many of us simply refused to give in to fear, continuing as best as possible life as usual.   Despite what some would prefer that we believe, people do have a choice of their reactions.

The issue never really went away.  It just continued on a less intense level, with skirmishes over how much of our communications could be monitored and recorded, whether a mosque could or could not be built in a specific location, how to protect existing ones, and periodic terror alerts seemingly geared to promote a continuing attitude of fear.   And, people have continued to choose their reactions.

We are now at another crisis point.   This time, the question, in addition to ethical issues, is whether we any longer really have a democracy.   The man  who has been elected president by unpopular vote is governing by executive order, which our lawmaking body, Congress, seems either unwilling or ineffective to resist.  The executive orders are arbitrary, and bear little resemblance to what the majority of people believe or want.  Does this sound like a democracy?   Or, does it resemble a switch to a more imperial and dictatorial form of government?   We must evaluate those questions for ourselves; we must decide for ourselves if those answers represent us and the way we wish to live.   We need to choose whether to accept this mode of living, regardless of personally liking it or not, or whether we wish to act cooperatively to make changes more indicative of how we really are.  It is a turning point.   Our collective choices of how to act will determine what America will become.

One thing is clear.  We cannot mimic the hate, disconnection and violence of those we oppose.  We cannot bring forth a more just and kinder system if we ourselves put forth hatred or judgment or a desire for revenge against those who are acting in authoritative, irresponsible and arbitrary ways.  Our plans and actions must be firm, but also executed with compassion.  What we put out with intent and action is what we will reap.

The litany of our new President’s executive orders has been recited repeatedly.  The litany of his indiscretions, as well as his illogical, often incomprehensible and unrelated-to-reality Twitters and pronouncements have been frequently rehashed as well.  An era of “alternative facts” seems to be looming.   How will we surf this choppy sea?  Instead of meeting the waves with an aggressive stance or simply falling passively into the sea, will we have the balance to ride to shore, to land safely, putting the obstacles of fear and disinformation firmly behind us?  Will we know when to oppose directly, when to undermine, and when to create a better way of being?   Will we fall into the sea of chaos, or even support the chaos?

Truly, we each need to make our own choices, but we also need to reach out to each other,  to cooperate and build our strength.   We need to both contribute our own talents and insights, and also rely upon the skills and gifts of others.   Let us open our hearts to each other; it is how the fear can be overcome.

Peace,  Diane