“I can’t sleep,” my friend confided. “My mind keeps swirling around with all the things that need to be done or could go wrong. I’m not even sure what I’m anxious about.”
I could sympathize. My mind does the same thing, more often than I would like. I’m not sure, though, whether my mind is responding to circumstance, or generating the condition.
There are certainly many reasons to be anxious. The chaos in the political world is one; climate change is another. Accounts of warfare and cyber warfare contribute. Included are the state of the economy and one’s own income, issues of social justice, and the plight of refugees – these also augment anxiety. Granted that changes in diet and lifestyle do lead to better health, the lists of polluted water, unhealthy foods, ways to lose weight, supplements vs pharmaceuticals, and what to do about these (opinions vary) tend to be attached to as much anxiety as they do healing. Our fast-paced, machine-oriented world can make us wonder if we are ourselves sufficient, doing enough, being enough, or healthy enough to exist and contribute. Add the farther-out warnings, such as asteroid collision, the super volcano under Yellowstone or pole shifts, and it’s no wonder that many people are anxious.
Advanced anxiety is also called worry, the state where the mind will not let go of pondering what might go wrong and what needs to be done in preparation in case it does go wrong. Most of us have been told to let go of worry, and that worry not only does not help, but can make things worse. Less attention has been given to anxiety, and even less to how to let go of either.
We think we know why we are anxious. Either we know that right away and can respond quickly to a query, “I am anxious because……” or we come up with a reason after thinking for awhile. Always, there is a reason given. Yet, if those reasons are solved, often the anxiety remains. For example, if one is anxious because his or her income is insufficient, and that person wins the lottery, the anxiety remains. It does not vanish when the given reason vanishes. Often, another reason then pops up for the persistent anxiety. This is repeatable, if one wants to play the game of resolving reasons. I am suspecting that in many cases, there are no reasons for the anxiety; there are only reasons we attribute to it, so that our minds are less traumatized by the condition. “It must be normal,” we conclude, “because there are reasons.”
I think that most – perhaps all – anxiety is simply ambient. It is a vibration in the energy matrix that surrounds us; we absorb that vibration unconsciously and carry it with us. Then, in order to “understand”, we come up with a reason to attach to it. There is no reason for anxiety, even the reason that we are anxious because it is present in the matrix; thus, it follows that to “cure” ourselves, we must fix the matrix so that the vibration is not there. All our efforts to fix things simply add to more anxiety as we discover that it is not fixable. If we have come that far, we begin to realize that it is necessary to look within, not outward, for causes.
Anxiety is an energy vibration. We are composed of many energy vibrations, including those which form our physicality. Anxiety is an energy vibration of emotion. It is not logical or reasonable, but it is mutable, as we learn to consciously move the energy within ourselves, including the energy of emotion. I believe that as humans, we are in the process of learning that. Not all of us are at the same level. I, certainly, am not yet a master of it. I have much to learn. Yet, looking around, I can notice people – from different walks of life – who somehow are oases of calm in the midst of chaos that may be going on. It seems to be natural for them, a gift or talent, or maybe a higher level of development. They usually have no words to say how. Yet, how can they be so calm, and I so anxious?
We can, I am sure, learn to consciously move the energy within us. It is easy enough to do negatively, such as changing anxiety to anger. It is harder to move to a state of peaceful energy flow, or a state of joy, or a state of loving acceptance. Yet, is that not what most religions in their depths, and most spiritual practices tell us to do? If we resent, we should forgive. We should reconcile ourselves to the brother or sister with whom we are angry. If we are worried, we should reach out to the peaceful flow of energy which exists both in the matrix and within us. Sorrow can turn to gratitude and joy; the underlying energy vibration we seek is love. We can transmute negativity within us to its positive counterpart. I know that this is so, even if I have not yet mastered it. I also know that it is mastered by practice, be it meditations, affirmations, course corrections in the moment, or any other consistent practice one finds useful. It is derailed by being distracted from that practice.
May we each find the bit of hope that, if we cling to it, will enable us to practice moving our energy in positive ways. May we each find ways to mutate anxiety, anger or fear to gratitude, peace, joy and love.
Peace, Diane