I have had the joy and privilege of teaching children from preschool
through middle school level. Often, they have taught me as much as I
have taught them. And, whereas lesson content is certainly important,
some of the biggest learning is about life itself and interaction with
others. An example is how willingly preschoolers absorb the simply
paraphrased Golden Rule.
Another phenomenon is that when children become of
an age to undertake homework, a new issue rears its head – the
EXCUSE. Some children love doing homework, and the idea of the excuse
does not engage their attention much. Others, for a number of reasons,
definitely do not want to do it, often spending more effort on evading
the requirement than they would on actually fulfilling it. There are
many excuses for the undone work, a classic (and not often offered) excuse being,”The dog ate my homework.” And, of course, there are sometimes quite valid
reasons mingled in with the excuses.
The thing about an excuse is that it does not acknowledge that the
homework was not done; instead, it offers apparent and sometimes quite
creative reasons why the student should be given credit without doing the
homework. It does not honestly acknowledge that the homework was not
done and that therefore there is not credit for doing the homework.
(Exceptions/late acceptances may certainly be given for valid reasons
that are honest barriers to getting the work which was intended to be
accomplished done.) The excuse is an attempt to avoid the work and also
the consequence for not doing the work.
We have a similar situation in our adult world today. We all – or at
least most of us – want a world which is fairer, less violent, more
respectful and caring, and more attentive to the needs of our planet and
its denizens. Most of us – but not all – seem to think that it is the
job of the government to create and provide this. The truth is that we
are avoiding responsibility. No government by itself can possibly create
a system which is at the same time fairer, less violent, more respectful
and caring, and more attentive to the needs of the planet on which we
live. By its nature, the power of government will first be used to
secure the power of that government, and after that, whatever causes the
government feels it wants to undertake. True change does not come from
the top down; mutual benefit does not come from the top down. It comes
from the bottom up. Those of us who are expecting the government –
either heavy handed or with a light touch – to secure and provide for us
those conditions we need for optimal living, without our doing anything
much except to obey and condemn those who disagree, are operating under
the same illusion as the student who thinks he or she should get credit
for undone work if he or she can offer a creative excuse. We cannot gain
from giving away our power and doing nothing.
Change which comes from the bottom up involves each of those whom that
change will touch. Not many of us live all by ourselves in a cave in the
mountains. We will all be touched by changes and doing the work of
those changes involves us all. We can elect the leaders we want, but
with election does not come the ability to shoulder the responsibility of
each member of the community. Those who drop their responsibility have
not given it to an authority, although they may have given their decision
making power away. The responsibility remains, even if ignored. We can
be certain that if we give our power away and ignore our responsibility,
we will get changes which are not to our liking. Politically, true
democracy rests on an informed and participating public – not just a
leader/leaders and followers who echo what they say.
In order to achieve the goal of a widely participating public, it is
necessary to begin listening to each other as opposed to debating,
condemning or overpowering each other. There is what I (and some others)
call the “Law of Paradox”, which states, paraphrased, that if one holds
in mind two diametrically opposing concepts long enough, one will
eventually arrive at the center between them, which is where the truth is
most likely to lie. If one engages in (or writes) a discussion, as
opposed to a debate or a persuasive presentation of one side only, one
understands and considers BOTH sides. Usually, one’s conclusion falls
somewhere between the two (or more) sides. However, even if the
conclusion reached is strongly on one side of the spectrum, it is ALWAYS
influenced by the opposing perspective. The process is not competitive.
What is sought is truth, not simply the power to “win”, to silence that
which disagrees with one’s own particular viewpoint. Rarely, if ever, is
this done by big government. It is, however, exemplified in the
consensus decision making process used by many intentional communities.
People, we each have the responsibility to think, to envision, to
discuss, to listen and to COOPERATIVELY create the system and
environment in which we wish to live, from the grassroots up. (That does not mean giving in, it simply means not insisting on all one’s own way being the only right way,
and it means treating the other with loving kindness.) Those of us
who neglect to do that are abandoning both themselves and their fellow
beings. The more who give away their power by abandoning it, the less
habitable our world will be. We are currently on the cusp of change; it
is time to wake up. There are limitless excuses for being lazy, for
neglecting to do the work required of us. The excuses will not give us
credit for having done the work. No work means no credit, and results we do
not wish to see, about which we may find out too late.
Let us wake up and stop using excuses to try to get what we want. Let us
realize what is being required of us, to cooperatively and respectfully
engage in discussion of how to firmly but peacefully make the changes
needed to usher us into a new way of being, known for a long time to
those willing to listen. Our humanity and the existence of the planet
and all its denizens, including us, depends on that.
Peace, Diane